A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A true friend doesn't have to.
A simple friend opens a conversations with a full news bulletin on his life.
A true friend says, "What's new with you?"
A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A true friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A true friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A true friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A true friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A true friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A true friend seeks to help your with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A true friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A true friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A true friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A true friend expects to always be there for you!